The Wedding Reception

Now, how do we ever describe the party after and the after party?  

What I would call the wedding reception was held in the newest venue in Bishkek.  It has been built with the shape and feel of a traditional Kyrgyz yurta, with animal skins decorating the bright colored walls, and a high domed ceiling draped in fabric. 

The rest of the night was filled with food, drink, entertainment, food, toasts, blessings, and food.  When we walked into the room, each table was completely laden.  After all the people were seated and welcomed, we were served course number one around 6:30 p.m. Whole chickens were carved and served along with fried fish, and we shared plates on the table of a uniquely Kyrgyz bread called boorsok (small pieces of fried dough), salads, vegetable dishes, and whole fruits.  A perfect wedding meal, we thought.  

We introduced ourselves around the table.  Everyone at our table spoke English, so it was easy.  We were seated with Kunduz's colleagues from her work at the National Democratic Institute.  NDI is a nonpartisan organization that works to strengthen democracies in 16 countries around the world.  On Jim’s immediate left was the US AID director in Kyrgyzstan. It turned out he grew up not 50 miles away from Jim in Storm Lake Iowa.  Who knew that Iowa would be such a prominent table conversation topic at a wedding in Kyrgyzstan?  Meanwhile, I was talking with the couple on my right - the Korean Ambassador to Kyrgyzstan and his wife.  We talked about their two and a half years in Kyrgyzstan, and of course of Jim and my 1985 visit to Korea when we met our son Nicholas for the very first time! 

As we chatted, the format of the evening was becoming clear.  We ate, then large contingents of family and friends came to the microphone to give toasts to the couple. After  each set of toasts, we were entertained by performers.  

There were ten sets of toasts throughout the night – from grandparents and parents, to aunts and uncles, to dignitaries, to friends of the parents.  Both the groom and bride's sides had their turns, so many, many toasts – and admonishments - were made.  Nearly all of them were in Kyrgyz, and only for a few did I have an interpreter. Given that, these were my top three memorable toasts:

1.     My own.  Jim and I each spoke as part of the parent and grandparent contingent.  I wish I could do mine over, except for one thing.  Very impromptu, at the close of my short toast, I took the mike back and simply said, “I love you” to Kunduz.  The reason I mention this at all is that several women approached me later, took my hands in theirs, said “I love you,” and smiled. It may have been the only English they spoke, but I knew we had connected as mothers.

2.     The second toast was one given to Kunduz and Khanchoro by a close relative.  As it was interpreted to me, he hoped they would form a new family, one that upheld all the traditions of each of their families, bridged their two families together into one, and helped build the new democratic country of Kyrgyzstan.  I thought to myself, ‘that is a lot of weight to place on those young shoulders.’ But, I kept thinking about it. And knowing their talents, their principles, and their passion, they will naturally bring these things to pass. 

3.     Last, very late in the evening, an uncle of Khanchoro said simply that he wished them “the sum of all the other blessings with the depth of Lake Issykkul.”  This really touched me.  Lake Issykkul is the second largest mountain lake in the world, and having visited it during our 2010 visit here, I appreciated the breadth and depth of the wishes he was imparting.

After each set of toasts, entertainers of incredible talent performed.   There were vocalists, musicians, and vibrant dancers.  The dancing ranged from Russian style leaps, to dancing that seemed to come direct from Arabian nights. One dance was very traditional Kyrgyz and symbolized a rider and his horse. I truly felt we were sitting along the Great Silk Road – seeing pieces of all the cultures that have crossed here.

Jim and I also got to dance.  Twice during the evening, the outside doors opened and all attendees were invited into the courtyard to dance.  Many people danced, solo or in groups. Jim and I were often asked into dancing circles. (My kind of people!)  

I should finish telling about the food.  As I mentioned what we thought was the wedding dinner was served about 6:30.  At 8:30, we were served a second course: plated dinners of salmon and rice.  Once again, it was delicious, and we ate until sated.  

Kunduz and Khanchoro cut their wedding cake at this point.  The tradition there is to have the bride and groom feed a piece of the wedding cake to their parents.  Both sets of parents went forward, and then Jim and I were called up, too.  We all joined arms, and six parents were fed the wedding cake!  Jim and I were very touched.  

Then, around 11:30, out came the final course: steaming platters of young horsemeat, a traditional Krygyz lamb and noodle dish called beshbarmak, and melon slices. 

I couldn’t believe my eyes.  But –it was almost expected that people would take some home with them, and bags were provided.

The after party.  “What a night,” I thought!  I couldn't wait to get into bed, and dream about all the colors, sights, and tastes.  But, it wasn’t over.  After most of the guests left, the two immediate families sat down for more drinks.  Kunduz and Khanchoro were gone by then, but about fifteen immediate family members, including Jim and me, remained. 

The eldest member of each family talked to the other family – specifying hopes and fears – for the couple’s marriage.  More toasts were made.  It was expected that you "down" a shot of vodka after each toast.  Throughout the night, I had been getting by with small sips, but at this point was found out.  Five or six “last time” shots later – we were in our cars headed for home.  We crawled to our beds about 2:30 a.m.